| ||TOPIC: Top Fifteen Excuses...|
total posts: 94
Top fifteen excuses to use if you're caught napping at work:
1. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
2. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."
3. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper."
4. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
5. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
6. "I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance."
7. "Actually doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend."
8. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory towards people who practice Yoga?"
9. "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
10."The coffee machine is broken...."
11."Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."
12."Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"
13."Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"
14."Wasn't sleeping. Was trying to pick up contact lens without hands."
total posts: 94
Top 10 Things That Sound Dirty In Law But Aren't
10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge!
8. Counsellor, let's do it in chambers.
7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6. Is it a penal offense?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in law but isn't:
1. Think you can get me off?
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