The Autobiography Of A Flea
Born I was—but how, when, or where I cannot say; so I
must leave the reader to accept the assertion " per se, " and
believe it if he will. One thing is equally certain, the fact
of my birth is not one atom less veracious than the reality
of these memoirs, and if the intelligent student of, these
pages wonders how it came to pass that one in my walk—or
perhaps, I should have said jump—in life, became pos-sessed of the learning, observation and power of commit-ting to memory the whole of the wonderful facts and
disclosures I am about to relate. I can only remind him that
there are intelligences, little suspected by the vulgar, and
laws in nature, the very existence of which have not yet
been detected by the advanced among the scientific world.
I have heard it somewhere remarked that my province
was to get my living by blood sucking. I am not the lowest
by any means of that universal fraternity, and if I sustain a
precarious existence upon the bodies of those with whom I
come in contact, my own experience proves that I do so in
a marked and peculiar manner, with a warning of my
employment which is seldom given by those in other
grades of my profession. But I submit that I have other and
nobler aims than the mere sustaining of my being by the
contributions of the unwary. I have been conscious of this
original defect, and, with a soul far above the vulgar
instincts of my race. I jumped by degrees to heights of
mental perception and erudition which placed me for ever
upon a pinnacle of insect-grandeur.
It is this attainment to learning which I shall evoke in
describing the scenes of which I have been a witness—nay, even a partaker. I shall not stop to explain by what
means I am possessed of human powers of thinking and
observing, but, in my lucubrations, leave you simply to
perceive that I possess them and wonder accordingly.
You will thus perceive that I am not common flea;
indeed, when it is born in mind the company in which I
have been accustomed to mingle, the familiarity with which
I have been suffered to treat persons the most exalted, and
the opportunities I have possessed to make the most of my
acquaintances, the reader will no doubt agree with me that
I am in very truth a most wonderful and exalted insect.
My earliest recollections lead me back to a period when
I found myself within a church. There was a rolling of rich
music and a slow monotonous chanting which then filled
me with surprise and admiration, but I have long since
learnt the true important of such influences, and the atti-tudes of the worshippers are now taken by me for the
outward semblance of inward emotions which are very
generally non-existent. Be this as it may, I was engaged
upon professional business connected with the plump white
leg of a young lady of some fourteen years of age, the
taste of whose delicious blood I well remember, and the
flavour of whose—But I am digressing.
Soon after commencing in a quiet and friendly way my
little attentions, the young girl in common with the rest of
the congregation rose to depart, and I, as a matter of
course, determined to accompany her.
I am very sharp of sight as well as of hearing, and that
is, how I saw a young gentleman slip a small folded piece
of white paper into the young lady's pretty gloved hand, as
she passed through the crowded porch. I had noticed the
name Bella neatly worked upon the soft silk stocking
which had at first attracted me, and I now saw that the
same word appeared alone upon the outside of the billet-doux. She was with her Aunt, a tall, stately dame, with
whom I did not care to get upon terms of intimacy.
Bella was a beauty—just fourteen—a perfect figure, and
although so young, her soft bosom was already budding
into those proportions which delight the other sex. Her
face was charming in its frankness; her breath sweet as the
perfumes of Arabia, and, as I have always said, her skin as
soft as velvet. Bella was evidently well aware of her good
looks, and carried her head as proudly and as coquettishly
as a queen. That she inspired admiration was not difficult
to see by the wistful and longing glances which the young
men, and sometimes also those of the more nature years,
cast upon her. There was a general hush of conversation
outside the building, and a turning of glances generally
towards the pretty Bella, which told more plainly than
words that she was the admired one of all eyes and the
desired one of all hearts—at any rate among the male sex.
Paying, however very little attention to what was evi-dently a matter of everyday occurrence, the young lady
walked sharply homewards with her Aunt, and after arrival
at the neat and genteel residence, went quickly to her room.
I will not say I followed, but I " went with her, " and
beheld the gentle girl raise one dainty leg across the other
and remove the tiniest of tight and elegant kid-boots.
I jumped upon the carpet and proceeded with my
examinations. The left boot followed, and without remov-ing her plump calf from off the other, Bella sat looking at
the folded piece of paper which I had seen the young
fellow deposit secretly in her hand.
Closely watching everything. I noted the swelling thighs,
which spread upwards above her tightly fitting garters,
until they were lost in the darkness, as they closed together
at a point where her beautiful belly met them in her
stooping position; and almost obliterated a thin and peach-like slit, which just showed its rounded lips between them
in the shade.
Presently Bella dropped her note, and being open, I took
the liberty to read it.
" I will be in the old spot at eight o'clock to night, "
were the only words which the paper contained, but they
appeared to have a special interest for Bella, who remained
cogitating for some time in the same thoughtful mood.
My curiosity had been aroused, and my desire to know
more of the interesting young being with whom chance
had so promiscuously brought me in pleasing contact,
prompted me to remain quietly ensconced in a snug though
somewhat moist hiding place, and it was not until near
upon the hour named that I once more emerged in order to
watch the progress of events.
Bella had dressed herself with scrupulous care, and now
prepared to betake herself to the garden which surrounded
the country-house in which she dwelt.
I went with her.
Arriving at the end of a long and shady avenue the
young girl seated herself upon a rustic bench, and there
awaited the coming of the person she was to meet.
It was not many minutes before the young man presented
himself whom I had seen in communication with my fair
little friend in the morning.
A conversation ensued which, if I might judge by the
abstraction of the pair from aught besides themselves, had
unusual interest for both.
It was evening, and the twilight had already commenced:
the air was warm and genial, and the young pair sat
closely entwined upon the bench, lost to all but their own
" You don't know how I love you Bella, " whispered the
youth. , tenderly sealing his protestation with a kiss upon
the pouting lips of his companion.
" Yes I do, " replied the girl, naively, " are you not
always telling me? I shall get tired of hearing it soon. "
Bella fidgeted her pretty little foot and looked thoughtful.
" When are you going to explain and show me all those
funny things you told me about? " asked she, giving a
quick glance up, and then as rapidly bending her eyes
upon the gravel walk.
" Now, " answered the youth. " Now, dear Bella, while
we have the chance to be alone and free from interruption. You know, Bella, we are no longer children? "
Bella nodded her head.
" Well, there are things which are not known to children,
and which are necessary for lovers not only to know, but
also to practice. "
" Dear me, " said the girl, seriously.
" Yes, " continued her companion, " there are secrets
which render lovers happy, and which make the enjoy of
loving and of being loved. "
" Lord! " exclaimed Bella, " how, sentimental you have
grown, Charlie; I remember the time when you declared
sentiment was " all humbug. "
" So I thought it was, till I loved you, " replied the
" Nonsense, " continued Bella, " but go on, Charlie, and
tell me what you promised. "
" I can't tell you without showing you as well, " replied
Charlie; " the knowledge can only be learnt by experience. "
" Oh, go on then and show me, " carried the girl, in
whose bright eyes and glowing cheeks I thought I could
detect a very conscious knowledge of the kind of instruc-tion about to be imparted.
There was something catching in her impatience. The
youth yielded to it, and covering her beautiful young form
with his own, glued his mouth to hers and kissed it
Bella made no resistance; she even aided and returned
her lover's caresses.
Meanwhile the evening advanced:the trees lay in the
gathering darkness, spreading their lofty tops to screen the
waning light from the young lovers.
Presently Charlie slid on one side; he made a slight
movement, and then without any opposition he passed his
hand under and up the petticoats of the pretty Bella. Not
satisfied with the charms which he found within the com-pass of the glistening silk stockings, he essayed to press on
still further, and his wandering fingers now touched the
soft and quivering flesh of her young thighs.
Bella's breath came hard and fast, as she felt the indeli-cate attack which was being made upon her charms. So
far, however, from resisting, she evidently enjoyed the
" Touch it, " whispered Bella, " you may. "
Charlie needed no further invitation:indeed he was
already preparing to advance without one and instantly
comprehending the permission, drove his fingers forward.
The fair girl opened her thighs as he did so, and the next
instant his hand covered the delicate pink lips of her pretty
For the next ten minutes the pair remained almost
motionless, their lips joined and their breathing alone mark-ing the sensations which were overpowering them with the
intoxication of wantoness. Charlie felt a delicate object,
which stiffened beneath his nimble fingers, and assumed a
prominence of which he had no experience.
Presently Bella closed her eyes, and throwing back her
head, shuddered slightly, while her frame became supple
and languid, and she suffered her head to rest upon the arm
of her lover.
" Oh, Charlie, " she murmured, " what is it you do?
What delightful sensations you give me. "
Meanwhile the youth was not idle, but having fairly
explored all he could in the constrained position in which he
found himself, he rose, and sensible of the need of assuag-ing the raging passion which his actions had fanned, he
besought his fair companion to let him guide her hand to a
dear object, which he assured her was capable of giving
her far greater pleasure that his fingers had done.
Nothing loth, Bella's grasp was the next moment upon a
new and delicious substance, and either giving way to the
curiosity she simulated, or really carried away by her
newly-roused desires, nothing would do, but she must
bring out and into the light the standing affair of her
Those of my readers who have been placed in a similar
position will readily understand the warmth of the grasp
and the surprise of the look which greeted the first appear-ance in public of the new acquisition.
Bella beheld a man's member for the first time in her
life, in the full plenitude of its power, and although it was
not, I could plainly see, by any means a formidable one,
yet its white shaft and redcapped head, from which the soft
skin retreated as she pressed it, gained her quick inclina-tion to learn more.
Charlie was equally moved; his eyes shone and his hand
continued to rove all over the sweet young treasure of
which he had taken possession.
Meanwhile the toyings of the little white hand upon the
youthful member with which it was in contact had pro-duced effects common under such circumstances to all of
so healthy and vigorous a constitution as that of the
owner of this particular affair.
Enraptured with the soft pressures, the gentle and deli-cious squeezings, and artless way in which the young lady
pulled back the folds from the rampant nut, and disclosed
the ruby crest, purple with desire, and the tip, ended by
the tiny orifice, now awaiting its opportunity to send forth
its slippery offering, the youth grew wild with lust, and
Bella, participating in sensations new and strange, but
which carried her away in a whirlwind of passionate
excitement, panted for she knew not what of rapturous
With her beautiful eyes half closed, her dewy lips parted,
and her skin warm and glowing with the unwonted impulse
stealing over her, she lay the delicious victim of whomso-ever had the instant-chance to reap her favours and pluck
her delicate young rose.
Charlie, youth though he was, was not so blind as to
lose so fair an opportunity; besides, his now rampant
passions carried him forward despite the dictates of pru-dence which he otherwise might have heard.
He felt the throbbing and well-moistened centre quiver-ing beneath his fingers, he beheld the beautiful girl lying
invitingly to the amorous sport, he watched the tender
breathings which caused the young breast to rise and fall,
and the strong sensual emotions which animated the glow-ing form of his youthful companion.
The full, soft and swelling legs of the girl were now
exposed to his sensuous gaze.
Gently raising the intervening drapery, Charlie still fur-ther disclosed the secret charms of his lovely companion
until, with eyes of flame, he saw the plump limbs termi-nate in the full hips and white palpitating belly.
Then also his ardent gaze fell upon the centre spot of
attraction—on the small pink slit which lay half hidden at
the foot of the swelling mount of Venus, hardly yet shaded
by the softest down.
The titillation which he had administered, and the caresses
which he had bestowed upon the coveted object had in-duced a flow of the native moisture which such excitement
tends to provoke, and Bella lay with her peach-like slit
well bedewed with nature's best and sweetest lubricant.
Charlie saw his chance. Gently disengaging her hand
from its grasp upon his member, he threw himself franti-cally upon the recumbent figure of the girl.
His left arm wound itself round her slender waist, his
hot breath was on her cheek, his lips pressed hers in one
long, passionate and hurried kiss. His left hand, now free,
sought to bring together those parts of both which are the
active instruments of sensual pleasure, and with eager
efforts he sought to complete conjunction.
Bella now felt for the first time in her life the magic
touch of a man's machine between the tips of her rosy
No sooner had she perceived the warm contact which
was occasioned by the stiffened head of Charlie's member,
than she shuddered perceptibly, and already anticipating
the delights of venery, gave down an abundance of proof
of her susceptible nature.
Charlie was enraptured at his happiness, and eagerly
strove to perfect his enjoyment.
But Nature, which had operated so powerfully in the
development of Bella's sensual passions, left yet some-thing to be accomplished, are the opening of so early a
rosebud could be easily effected.
She was very young, immature, certainly so in the sense
of those monthly visitions which are supposed to mark the
commencement of puberty; and Bella's parts, replete as
they were with perfection and freshness, were as yet
hardly prepared for the accommodation of even so moderate
a champion as that which, with round intruded head,
now sought to enter in and effect a lodgment.
In vain Charlie pushed and exerted himself to press into
the delicate parts of the lovely girl his excited member.
The pink folds and the tiny orifice withstood all his
attempts to penetrate the mystic grotto. In vain the pretty
Bella, now roused into a fury of excitement and half mad
with the titillation she had already undergone, seconded by
all the means in her power the audacious attempts of her
The membrane was strong and resisted bravely until,
with a desperate purpose to win the goal or burst everything,
the youth drew back for a moment, and then desperately
plunging forward, succeeded in piercing the obstruction
and thrusting the head and shoulders of his stiffened affair
into the belly of the yielding girl.
Bella gave a little scream, as she felt the forcible inroad
upon her secret charms, but the delicious contact gave her
courage to bear the smart in hopes of the relief which
appeared to be coming.
Meanwhile Charlie pushed again and again, and proud
of the victory which he had already won, not only stood
his ground, but at each thrust advanced some small way
further upon his road.
It has been said, " ce n'est que le premier coup qui
coute, " but it may be fairly argued that it is at the same
time perfectly possible that " quelquefois il coute trap, " as
the reader may be inclined to infer with me in the present
Neither of our lovers, however, had, strange to say, a
thought on the subject, but fully occupied with the deli-cious sensations which had overpowered them, united
to give effect to those ardent movements which both could feel would end
As for Bella, with her whole body quivering with deli-cious impatience, and her full red lips giving vent to the
short excursive exclamations which announced the extreme
gratification, she gave herself up body and soul to the
delights of the coition. Her muscular compressions upon
the weapon which had now effectually gained her, the firm
embrace in which she held the writhing lad, the delicate
tighs of the moistened, glove-like sheath, all tended to
excite Charlie to madness. He felt himself in her body to
the roots of his machine, until the two globes which
tightened beneath the foaming champion of his manhood,
pressed upon the firm cheeks of her white bottom. He
could go no further and his sole employment was to
enjoy—to reap to the full the delicious harvest of his
But Bella, insatiable in her passion, no sooner found the
wished for junction completed, than relishing the keen
pleasure which the stuff and warm member was giving
her, became too excited to know or care further aught that
was happening, and her frenzied excitement, quickly over-taken again by the maddening spasms of completed lust,
pressed downwards upon the object of her pleasure, threw
up her arms in passionate rapture, and then sinking back in
the arms of her lover, with low groans of ecstatic agony
and little cries of surprise and delight, gave down a copi-ous emission, which finding a reluctant escape below,
inundated Charlie's balls.
No sooner did the youth witness the delivering enjoy-ment he was the means of bestowing upon the beautiful
Bella, and became sensible of the flood which she had
poured down in such profusion upon his person, then he
was also seized with lustful fury. A raging torrent of desire
seemed to rush through his veins; his instrument was now
plunged to the hilt in her delicious belly, then, drawing
back, he extracted the smoking member almost to the
head. He pressed and bore all before him. He felt a
tickling, maddening feeling creeping upon him; he tight-ened his grasp upon his young mistress, and at the same
instant that another cry of rapturous enjoyment issued from
her heaving breast, he found himself gasping upon her
bosom, and pouring into her grateful womb a rich tickling
jet of youthful vigour.
A low moan of salacious gratification escaped the parted
lips of Bella, as she felt the jerking gushes of seminal fluid
which came from the excited member within her; at the
same moment the lustful frenzy of emission forced from
Charlie a sharp and thrilling cry as he lay with upturned
eyes in the last act of the sensuous drama.
That cry was the signal for an interruption which was as
sudden as it was unexpected. From out the bordering
shrubs there stole the sombre figure of a man and stood
before the youthful lovers.
Horror froze the blood of both.
Slipping from his late warm and luscious retreat, and
essaying as best he could to stand uprigh, Charlie recoiled
from the apparition as from some dreadful serpent.
As for the gentle Bella, no sooner did she catch sight of
the intruder than, covering her face with her hands, she
shrank back upon the seat which had been the silent wit-ness of her pleasures, and too frightened to utter a sound,
waited with what presence of mind she could assume to
face the brewing storm.
Nor was she kept long in suspense.
Quickly advancing towards the guilty couple the new-comer seized the lad by the arm, while with a stern gesture
of authority, he ordered him to repair the disorder of dress.
" Impudent boy, " he hissed between his teeth, " what
is that you have done? To what lengths have your mad and
savage passions hurried you? How will you face the rage
of your justly offended father? How to appease his angry
resentment when in the exercise of my bounden duty. I
apprise him of the mischief wrought by the hand of his
only son. "
As the speaker ceased, still holding Charlie by the wrist,
he came forth into the moonlight and disclosed the figure
of a man of some forty-five of age, short, stout, and
somewhat corpulent. His face, decidedly handsome, was
rendered still more attractive by a pair of brilliant eyes,
which, black as jet, threw around fierce glances of passion-ate resentment. He was habited in a clerical dress, the
sombre shades and quiet unobstructive neatness of which
drew out only more prominently his remarkably muscular
proportions and striking physiognomy.
Charlie appeared, as well, indeed, he might, covered
with confusion, when to his infinite and selfish relief, the
stern intruder turned to the young partner of his libidinous
" For you, miserable girl, I can only express my utmost
horror and my most righteous indignation. Forgetful alike
of the precepts of the holy mother church, careless of your
honour, you have allowed this wicked and presumptuous
boy to pluck the forbidden fruit? What now remains for
you? Scorned by your friends, and driven from your uncle's
house, you will herd with the beasts of the field, and
Nebuchadnezar of old, shunned as contamination by your
species, gladly gather a miserable sustenance in the
highways. Oh, daughter of sin, child given up to lust and
unto Satan. I say unto thee— "
The stranger had proceeded thus far in his abjuration of
the unfortunate girl, when Bella, rising from her crouching
attitude, threw herself at his feet, and joined her tears and
prayers for forgiveness to those of her young lover.
" Say no more, " at length continued the stern priest;
" say no more. Confessions are of no avail, and humilia-tions do but add to your offence. My mind misgives me as
to my duty in this sad affair, but if I obeyed the dictates of
my present inclinations I should go straight to your natural
guardians and acquaint them immediately with the infa-mous nature of my chance discovery. "
" Oh, in pity, have mercy upon me, " pleaded Bella,
whose tears now coursed down her pretty cheeks, so lately
aglow with wanton pleasure.
" Spare us, Father, spare us both. We will do anything
in our power to make atonement. Six masses and several
paters shall be performed on our account and our cost. The
pilgrimage to the shrine of St. Engulphus, of which you
spoke to me the other day, shall now surely be undertaken.
I am willing to do anything, sacrifice anything, if you will
spare this dear Bella. "
The priest waived his hand for silence. Then he spoke,
while accents of pity mingled with his naturally stern and
" Enough, " said he, " I must have time. I must invoke
assistance from the Blessed Virgin, who knew no sin, but
who, without the carnal delights of mortal copulation,
brought forth the babe of babes in the manger of Bethlehem.
Come to me tomorrow in the sacristy, Bella. These in the
precincts, I will unfold to you the Divine Will concerning
your transgression. At two o'clock I will expect you. As
for you, rash youth, I shall reserve my judgment, and all
action, until the following day, when at the same hour I
shall likewise expect you. "
A thousand thanks were being poured out by the united
throats of the penitents, when the Father warned them both
The evening had long ago closed in, and the dews of
night were stealing upwards.
" Meanwhile, good night and peace; your secret is safe
with me, until we meet again, " he spoke and disappeared.